When did you first recognize yourself as a sexual being? For most of us our identity as a girl or boy developed at a very young age. We wore different clothing, used different public restrooms, and were given different kinds of toys to play with. Our interest in our own bodies and those of others usually develops early in our lives, too. Our sexuality is at the core of our identity. Yet it is shaped and often maligned by the family and culture in which we live.
I have a friend who counsels women. One of the questions she asks them is “when did you first realize you were valued less than boys?” Invariably, women will recall a specific incident in their childhood that let them know they were going to have to work harder to prove their worth. Sometimes we go to extremes to achieve the highest grades or thinnest bodies. Other times we exploit our sexuality, recognizing that it is a source of power over men. Often, as we age, we come to appreciate the beauty and richness of our own gender and begin to bond more deeply with other women.
I don’t pretend to be an expert on sexuality. In fact, I feel like a novice in understanding the impact it has on individuals and relationships. I appreciate the conversations with other women that given me windows into their experiences and perspectives. I am grateful for Nadia K.’s recent blog post that gave me a glimpse into a sexual sub-culture that is unlike my own. I’m sure you have a unique perspective on sexuality as well and I would be honored if you would share it. We have an opportunity to learn from one another within a spirit of respect here at Pomegranate Place. This article will be posted on our blog and I encourage you to respond with your thoughts and experiences. We also have a fabulous group of women poets and artists that will be presenting on the topic of sexuality at our First Friday Art Walk on August 5th. Please join us!